We Bypassed Blackmail in the Womb

10/25/10

Fetal syndrome worse than alcohol

(which would come later),

but we gave it a good shot.

Sobriety just ain't for everyone

and I, well I'm one of the lucky ones.

So fill it up, fuck it, just give me the bottle

to suckle til my inner toddler shuts the fuck up,

whining about mean sisters and

missing fathers

while pissing on itself trying to

bury the problems.

Yes the burning in my throat is the closest thing to

the yearning I feel in my stomach as its contents

rush up

braver than me for admitting their defeat.

But me? Make it another double

cuz that dance floor's calling sweet

and God knows the lights can take

me to a universe filled with better things

than this,

the bass pounding out something

in my chest that's the closest I'll get

to a heartbeat.

But this magic trick only works with

two things:

a mind soaked in substance

and my skin soaked with you

Whoever "you" may be.

Never matters,

only comes to show me where

I'm lacking and how good a job I've done

sewing up the gaps and patching up

the vomit stains....

you'd never recognize the

one in this mirror and the

one in that ultrasound

as the same...

with a missing father...

I'm one of the lucky ones.