Green

3/20/11

Up in smoke

the Summer of Our Lives

we banded together, didn't have instruments

but DAMN we had a time.

Naive enough to think the world would let us change it,

didn't ask permission

just followed the footsteps of idols who refused to cut their hair,

patched up the same pair of jeans til a tapestry, a story

was woven into the threads.

Heard their words and swore by them, THIS was the truth we had pressed to find

answers in lyrics amplified by a sweet perfume our circle centered around,

the green unleashing secrets we knew we'd die without.

Couldn't imagine paradise any different.

Money didn't matter except to keep us rolling,

minds molding into disciples of an unseen force,

morals shifted to a place where lying was doable.

Stealing inevitable.

The choice between love and NOW made easy by craving.

Highest priority given to go up blazing,

too blinded by the rush to see what was changing-

that the fun now looked more like a broken record.

Our personalities growing darker, searching in alleyways we hadn't expected to need

Moving past weed into capsules and powders that promised relief.

Told ourselves it was fun but I was scared as hell,

saw your palms sweat too the first time we crushed that pill.

But the problem with chasing is you get too scared to stop.

Took me nights of nightmares brought to reality to cry out

for help from somebody,

somewhere,

PLEASE.

Our easy days seemed like a parallel universe

compared to the prison my mind slept in.

Looking back on how it started, yeah I grin and laugh at the memories,

romanticize the summer afternoons but I can't forget to pay due to the eventually it lead to.

Remind myself how easy of a loop it is to reenter,

keep my body present,

spirit strong, heart centered on others and love and myself and REAL truths

Gotta leave my green in the past

Its always been the color of youth.